Growing up in an extremely violent home, Alexis says she never knew peace inside the walls of her home as a child.
Her parents divorced when she was three years old, following a series of horrific events including her home being set on fire by her own father. Having witnessed heinous acts that no human being should ever see, much less a small child, Alexis and her family found safety at a local domestic violence shelter.
Domestic violence, assault, rape and other horrific events became a part of Alexis’ life at such a young age, she struggled to know a life separated from that type of behavior.
Alexis says it was not until she was adopted by family friends, who were never able to have children of their own, that she began to see that life didn’t have to be that way. “I rebelled constantly and even moved out at the age of 17,” Alexis said, she simply couldn’t understand love and acceptance thanks to a childhood filled with so much violence and heartache.
Alexis’ first relationship was with a man who began to repeat the same behaviors she had grown accustomed to in her early years. Alexis said, after years of abuse physically, mentally and financially, “One day I woke up and I had just had enough and got out of that relationship as fast as I could.”
Alexis has found a new sense of confidence in herself that has allowed her to be successful as a real estate agent and to empower those around her to build the type of lives they have always dreamed of.
Today Alexis is happily married and raising two children with her husband in Charlotte, North Carolina.
“I never really processed what had happened in my younger life, I continually numbed myself as my coping method.” She went on to say, “My son’s birth triggered emotions in me that I had numbed for so long and led me to counseling which has helped me to process and truly understand how much the domestic violence in my life had affected me.”
Alexis and her adoptive family remain very close to this day and she also credits them with her healing. Their unconditional love has helped her to overcome her past.
She said, “Through their support I have found a way to make a better life for myself, for my marriage, and for my children. They have helped me see that I don’t have to repeat the mistakes of my biological parents.” Alexis says that today her children are her motivation. She gives a tremendous amount of credit to counseling for her healing journey as well. Alexis lives by this mantra in life, “I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased letting it control me.” These words motivate Alexis every day to continue to do better and be better for her children, to show them the healthier ways to live life and have relationships.
Sunday Survivor Series is a bi-weekly blog series highlighting survivors of domestic violence and their success after abuse.